Emotions
by booknerdjewel
Summary: One-Shot. Dean handling emotions.


**AN: Hey, guys! Holy crap it has been forever since I uploaded anything. So this month I will be uploading a new one shot every single day. As well as uploading one-shots each day, I will be updating on some stories and add some new ones. It has been forever since I have worked on my stories and I am really happy to start working on them again. Thanks so much for sticking with me and reading my stories. Don't forget to follow, favorite, and review. Thanks for reading, JuJuB7**

What are emotions? Why do most people around him experience emotions on regular bases? Because they weren't him, they weren't like him. No one around him was like him. The people around him are actually humans, they have feelings, they show their emotions. Every single damn emotion. Fear, anger, sadness, joy, disgust, the list just goes on and on. It's a never ending damn list. Although most of the time he wishes he could just experience them, all of them for once. He just wants to be normal for once, just once in his life he wants to be a normal teenager. He often wonders when he is at the different schools, what is feels like to be a normal teenager. Is that too much to want? Just to be normal. Apparently, in his family, it is too much to ask for because his father would never listen to him when he asked about being normal. Being normal, wasn't them. They weren't supposed to be normal. They are supposed to be the hunters, the ones who save the people from what they don't think is real. They move from state to state, town to town, not staying in one place for too long. If he is being honest with himself, he hates his life, the way he has to live his life. It just isn't fair to him. Yes, something did kill his mother, something related to the supernatural, but why did his father have to set out to kill the thing, to get revenge. Couldn't he just raise his boys in a normal world, in a normal way like his mother would have wanted? The answer to that, he knows, is no. He is never going to be able to live a normal life because of that thing.

Dean wipes the tears off of his face as he watches as his girlfriend walks out of the motel room's bathroom. He doesn't want her to see him crying, that would be showing his weakness. He hates showing his weakness. He doesn't want anyone to see his weakness.

"Hey," Amanda says, kneeling in front of Dean. "Are you okay? Don't think I didn't see you wiping your tears."

"Don't tell anyone," Dean blurts out. "I can't have anyone finding out that popular Dean Winchester cries. That would ruin…"

"Dean, I won't tell anyone, I promise," Amanda pauses, placing her hands on top of Dean's legs. "But I want you to tell me what is wrong. You never show feelings ever, this has been the first time I have seen you show a feeling and the first feeling I see you having is sadness. Why are you crying? You can tell me what's wrong. I promise you I will not tell anyone. I just don't want to leave you here, all alone, knowing that you are sitting here. That you are sad and crying. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I just left my boyfriend like that? I wouldn't be a very good one."

"It's nothing, Mandy," Dean says, looking down, not wanting to look at Amanda. "I will be fine. You should get home before your parents start to worry about you. I know how strict they are. We can talk tomorrow or something."

"Dean," Amanda calmly but sternly states. "I am not leaving until you tell what is going on with you. Don't you not trust me or something. Is that why you don't want to tell me because you honestly think I am going to go tell someone about this. Dean, you can trust me. What do I have to prove that to you? I love you, Dean, and excuse for sounding like a mom, but I want the best for you. Is that so much to want? To want the best for your boyfriend, to make sure your boyfriend is happy. I am the one who is making you unhappy. Is that why you won't tell me anything? Do you want to break up with me?"

"No, no, no," Dean says, running his hands up and down her arms. "You have done nothing wrong. Today, just… Today hasn't been a good day for me. It's just I have spent a lot of today thinking about my mom, thinking about the life I could have had if she hadn't had died. Thinking about how much I miss her. Just thinking about a lot of things related to her. And feeling all these different things I have never felt before. If I am being honest, it scares the hell out of me because I don't know what the hell I am feeling."

"Dean," Amanda says, moving herself to sit on his lap. "What you are feeling, those are called emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness, depressed, joy, scared, those are all emotions. It's normal for a person to feel all these things. It's alright to be sad or angry or depressed. There is nothing wrong with showing your emotions. Everyone shows emotions, it's being human. It's being alive and taking in everything around you. It's nothing to feel embarrassed about."

"I hate these feelings," Dean states.

"You know," Amanda starts. "Love is an emotion. Sometimes love has the power to block out all those horrible emotions and keep you happy with the wonderful things you have in life. At least that is what my mother told me when I was little. Ever since she told me that I have always believed that. I don't know why but I guess it's just comforting to know that even when you have had a bad day, you can go home or see someone that you love and all of the badness goes away."

"I am glad that I meant you," Dean smiles. "I really don't know how I would have survived without if that doesn't sound too forward. I'm glad that my dad dumped me here. You are one of the best things to ever happen to me."

"I love you," Amanda whispers, kissing the tip of Dean's nose.

"I love you too," Dean smiles, finally letting his emotions show.


End file.
